Project Petrolhead

Running a sports car as your daily driver is hard work, especially one like the Jaguar XK. You have to be willing to sacrifice certain modern conveniences like fuel economy, passenger seats or the ability to do a tip run in less than two trips. This issue became handily apparent recently as I have started to do a fair amount of dog-sitting for my parents and, as you can probably imagine, trying to corral an excitable Cocker Spaniel (who already hates and fears cars in equal measure) into the passenger seat of a sports coupe… Well, it isn’t going to happen, is it? As such, it’s high time that the Jag got demoted to “Weekend Car” and a second, more suitable contender picked up the slack.

In an ideal world, I’d buy something like a BMW 330e estate (like the one owned by Project Petrolhead contributor Rob) as it would easily handle everything I could throw at it. Unfortunately, I’m tight as a duck’s chuff so the 20 grand that I would need to shell out for a nice one means it’s immediately off the table. Some ground rules then; An estate or similar, under 7 thousand pounds and with a sensible engine that won’t go pop as soon as it rolls off of the dealership forecourt. Let’s have a wander through the classifieds.

First things first, I need to make a confession. I love a Volvo. My Dad had a couple of Volvos growing up and I maintain that they were probably some of the best cars he owned. Naturally, the first car to bring into consideration is the Volvo V70. What engine? Well, it has to be the 2.4 litre, 5-cylinder diesel (D5 in Volvo-speak). These enormous Swedish barges were designed not only to accommodate enough IKEA furniture to furnish The Royal Palace of Stockholm, but to do so in exquisite comfort. They can tackle a 500-mile journey with ease and, thanks to their vast girth, are only slightly more difficult to park than the QE II.

For a certain sub-sect of petrolheads, if it’s not a BMW, it’s not worth buying. Alright then, what about an E61 generation BMW 530d estate? These Munich mile-munchers are perfect for the chap who commutes via Autobahn and spends the summer pounding around the Nürburgring Nordschleife. Slightly less perfect however, are the timing chain issues that some N57 3.0 litre engines suffer with if not looked after correctly. Space in the cabin and boot is ample and the interior does feel a little more modern that the Volvo, but the ride is noticeably firmer and, in a town where the roads are 75% pothole, I could do with a bit more squidge for daily use.

Staying in Germany then, what about a facelifted 2008 W211 generation Mercedes E-Class? Big tick on ride comfort, big tick on practicality and big tick on the big diesel engine. By 2008, Mercedes were on the upswing after a noticeable dip in quality in the early 00s and the E-Class (E320 CDi in this case) seems to have benefitted heavily from this, with tons of standard safety tech, issues with the “Sensotronic” brakes rectified and an interior more leathery than a Floridian pensioner’s face.

Those are the three combatants then: Wallander, Schumacher and Hasselhoff. All three offer boots big enough for a Great Dane, enough gadgets to keep Jon Bentley happy (there’s a local reference for you) and enough grunt from their substantial diesel engines to make even the dullest motorway journey tolerable. I will be test driving an example of each early next year (hopefully getting them together for a proper WhatCar-style group test) so I can properly decide which one meets my criteria best, or at the very least, which one the dog hates least.