Project Petrolhead

I won’t go into specifics here, but recently, I bought a house. It’s not massive and there’s no garden, but it does have off-street parking and, if I’m honest, that was really the only requirement. Unfortunately, a new problem has arisen. You see, up until now, I have lived close enough to my office that I can walk to work, saving the Mighty Jag for special occasions and cutting my petrol bill quite significantly. With the new gaff, no such luck. I’m now presented with the prospect of a 25-mile commute there and back each day and, as much as I love running a 4.2 litre V8 sports car, I’m not made of money! As far as I can see, I have two options.

Option 1) Buy a second, incredibly cheap car for commuting and keep the Jag as weekend wheels.

Option 2) Sell the Jag and buy a newer car, probably a diesel, that I don’t mind piling miles onto.

First off, we’re presented with the sheer absurdity of the UK’s second-hand car market. Where before you might have been able to pick up a small hatchback in decent condition for under a thousand pounds, thanks to inflation, Covid and supply chain disruption, used car prices have ballooned, and now a 10-year-old diesel Ford Fiesta with 6-digit mileage will set you back close to two-and-a-half grand. On top of that, I’d need to find the money to tax and insure a second vehicle, again more expensive now thanks to changing emissions regulations and encroaching ULEZ areas. Finding somewhere to store it without becoming too much of a nuisance to my new neighbours would be a pain as well, given that street space is at a premium where I live.

Option two then? In which I go out and swap the Jag for something a bit less… interesting? Well, maybe that’s being harsh. For the budget, there are some pretty cool cars I could look at. The one that’s piqued my interest this month is a BMW 640d Gran Coupe, marrying a torquey 310bhp straight-six diesel engine with BMW’s trademark rear-wheel-drive handling and a stylish, swoopy design, all while returning 50mpg. Sounds perfect, right? They also have Variable Damper Control (VDC) that allows for a real Jekyll and Hyde approach to chassis dynamics, softening the ride for back-and-forth commuting but bringing everything to life when the mood strikes. The clincher for me though, are the Gran Coupe’s vestigial back doors. They might be small, but going for the saloon over the 2-door would be ideal for me. I’ve spent the last few years with the Jag and I can tell you for a fact, you never think you’ll miss back seats until they’re gone.

The trouble is, I’m a hoarder (that’s partly why moving house has taken so bloody long) and the thought of selling the Jag, my childhood dream car, makes me genuinely sad. I’ve done some great trips in it, from Anglesey to Coniston, I even took it to James Bond’s driveway at Glencoe, but I was never done with it. There are still things I’d like to do, trips I’d like to go on and modifications I’d like to make, but the reality is that a large luxury coupe simply isn’t a cost I can justify. God knows this website isn’t helping, given that I made a total of £12 in ad revenue last year.